Marshall Rosenberg

I. Recommended Resources for Getting Started Quickly

Start with one-day workshop from 2000 this series of four 45-minute videos (part 4).
Here’s the Center for Nonviolent Communication.  And the NVC book I read.

II. Bits of wisdom that stuck with me.

  1. Don’t do anything that isn’t play.
  2. Violence is a tragic expressions of an unmet need.
  3. When you use the phrase “I think you …” there’s a good chance you won’t be heard.
  4. Guilt, shame, anxiety, depression tell us we’re not directly connected to our needs.
  5. The use of punishment and reward is “power over” people.
  6. Being connected to our needs gives us “power with” people.
  7. The only way to avoid hurting other people is to become a nice dead person.
  8. One of the most loving things you can do is learn to enjoy someone else’s pain.
  9. Request or demand?  You can tell by what happens when it’s not accepted.
  10. As long as people hear our requests as demands, they can only rebel or submit.
  11. NVC too drawn-out, out of a book?  Would you prefer “Do this or I’ll kick your ass!”?
  12. Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks.  You’ll live longer.

III. How I got into it

I don’t really know if anyone recommended NVC.  I think I just picked up the book in a bookstore, and it sounded familiar because I heard his name on the news in the context of negotiations.

IV. Dissonance and doubt

The first time I saw him pull out the coyote and giraffe hand puppets I thought, “Really?!?”
Now I think they’re kind of cute.

I feel mildly resentful about his songs, because I have a need to listen to music I enjoy.  My request for him would be to speak, or maybe rap about it.  ;-)

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